We are two weeks into January. How is your new year going so far? Have the resolutions you made on the first already become points of contention about your commitment to change? If so, let's take a different approach and revisit the post on December 31st - making a commitment to you. Part of making that commitment was starting a journal. If you haven't already begun, this post may help you get started.


Journaling can take many forms and use different media. It can act as a witness to your life by recording a chronicle of your experience, a safe space to vent private thoughts, a platform for reflection and learning, and/or a sacred space for grace and gratitude. Consider these forms and others you may choose as you also make choices about the medium you will use to preserve your thoughts.

Before you choose a medium - paper and pen or digital - take a few moments to ponder how your commitment to yourself will be reflected in the way you memorialize your musings. You might take a moment to check in with your body and mind to ask what fits your life and sensibilities best. How will the medium you choose authentically reflect your commitment to reflection, learning, and change. It may be easy to disregard the sensory experience of writing in a journal, especially long-hand as your pen glides over paper. What will your journal look like, feel like, smell like, sound like?

If you love the smell of bookstores and libraries, a long-hand journal may suit you best. When you choose your journal, honor your senses with regard to size, color, paper type, lined or unlined, guided or free form. Let your inspiration guide your choice. This is not an instrument you want to skimp on and neither is your writing implement. They are the vehicles of truth and insight from which the thoughts emanating from your head and heart flow through your hand. Remember the bard's words:

O how much more doth beauty beauteous seem,
By that sweet ornament which truth doth give!
The rose looks fair, but fairer we it deem
For that sweet odour which doth in it live.

William Shakespeare, Sonnet 54

If you love coffee houses as well as the flexibility and convenience of technology, choose a platform or app that allows you to incorporate different types of media like pictures, diagrams, and mind-maps into your daily entries. Tech can instill a different kind of portable beauty enabling you to transform your thoughts into action through sharing when you think it appropriate and mutually beneficial.

This initial step, choosing your journal, comes to fruition when you make your first entry. You might consider possibly reflecting what your process of choosing the form and medium for your writing. Add to it your thoughts about the space (where you will write) and timing (when and how) of your writing practice. To solidify your commitment, put your writing practice on your calendar. By doing so, you consciously create the time and space, as well as give yourself permission to reflect and learn. By the end of this year, you will look back and see how it was time well spent.

See you in February when we will dig into prompts for the content of your journal. In the meantime, have fun creating your writing environment, whether physical or virtual.

Are you planning on performing the annual ritual of making new year's resolutions? Does the process remind you of past failures to follow through on your commitments? Does this ritual really work for you?

If you find the process of writing resolutions self-defeating, then I suggest you make only one commitment in the new year - prioritize your journey of growth through regular reflection on your life experiences. One of the most effective ways to learn from your reflections is through writing though your experiences in a daily journal.

In the coming year, we will explore effective ways to keep your daily journal. You will want to stay tuned for creative ideas to prompt self-reflection in ways to ensure successful change in your life.  So make your one resolution for this new year a commitment to your own path of learning by checking in here for ideas to map your journey. See you in January!

Participation through Action => Experience
Reflection on Experience => Learning

This is the essence of Chris Argyris' double-loop learning (see: https://infed.org/mobi/chris-argyris-theories-of-action-double-loop-learning-and-organizational-learning/). Argyris' learning principle is also at the core of participatory action research (see: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Participatory_action_research) .

So what does this mean to you in building your adaptive capacity and strengthening your resilience?

Let's reflect on recent years (since 2016) and the last three in particular. The world has been transformed by geopolitical upheavals and pandemic. At almost every level, the way we operate in our world has changed. For example, the way we interact with others has transitioned from predominantly in-person contact to virtual contact to such an extent that emerging from our pandemic cocoons required rethinking about how to conduct ourselves in shared spaces. Some of us have adapted well while others are still finding their legs. Some others have chosen to remain isolated while others demonstrate open hostility in the public square.  This reality necessitates increased preparation for all types of responses from those we encounter in public.

How does one prepare for these interactions that may elicit surprising reactions, unforeseen responses, and even potential for meaningful engagement? Some of the most powerful tools are:

• Approach interactions with curiosity, a sense of appreciative inquiry
• Consciousness of your role in shared space
• Consciousness of others in shared space
• Awareness of our own biases
• Consideration of others given the context of the shared space
• Understanding your boundaries
• Respecting others' boundaries
• Finding shared aims and values
• Appreciating different perspectives
• Looking for richness in diverse experiences
• Allowing for compassion for self and others
• Creating conditions for sharing without harsh judgment or reprisal
• Listening for shared joys as well as shared distress
• Using our voices to stand up for those who cannot
• Honoring our shared humanity
• Reflecting on the experience through journaling, meditation, or being in nature
• Using lessons learned to prepare for future interactions
• Appreciating the life cycle of shared experience with grace

Since 2016, the world has become exceedingly polarized and unbalanced. Absolutes have become seemingly easy approaches to the complexity we face. The key is to understand complexity, not reduce it to simple solutions. Complexity is neutral - neither good nor bad. Complexity is at times irascible; yet, it also lends richness to living. It is vital to life.

When you approach your daily interactions in shared spaces on the road, at work, in your community, in school, at the grocery, at the gas station, at the cafe, or anywhere in which you encounter others whom you don't know, LEAD WITH APPRECIATIVE INQUIRY about the other person and what you might learn from them. You might treat complicated engagements as participatory action research opportunities.  Remember, sometimes the greatest gifts come in ugly wrapping paper. This simple shift in your presence toward appreciative inquiry will take the pressure off you to prove something and opens you to learning something from those you meet. When you are learning, you are building your adaptive capacity at multiple levels (e.g., cognitive, relational, spiritual). When you learn to share space with others in positive ways, you have more opportunities to build community. When you have built a supportive community, you have strengthened your resilience as well as the resilience of those you share space.  That's the value of the double loop!

Greetings Resilient Ones!

It has been awhile since my last post. The 2020 election cycle has come and gone. Our nation is finally on a path of recovery. As individuals, we are hopeful the vaccine will help us combat the pandemic and the new economic plan will create more stability in our lives. You may ask, so why are we still focusing on learned resilience? The short answer is that the period of recovery from adversity is the richest period for learning from experience. This is a time for reflection about what went well, what didn't go well, and how we can improve our capacity for resilience. In the spirit of reflection and learning, If we move on too quickly, we may step over some critical lessons that will have long-term consequences. By reflecting on what we have just gone through, we can prepare ourselves for future challenges so we manage them from places of strength.

I have been spending the last four months searching for answers to a bunch of "why" questions. Like, why did we go through the roller coaster ride of the last four years with so much tragedy and so little accountability for those in power? Why weren't we better prepared and why didn't our safety rails work?  Why are we so polarized and unable to communicate? Why can't we be unified instead of divided? Why are people so willing to sweep our difficulties under the rug without learning from experience? Why are we repeating past errors? 

In my research, I have come across a thought-provoking podcast called Politicology created and moderated by Ron Steslow. Some of you may recall Ron as the insightful interviewer who led the Lincoln Project's many podcasts during 2020. In December, Ron launched Politicology to dive deeply into many of the topics that had to wait for further development until the urgency of the election was over. Now, he is taking on those topics. For example, Ron is developing a series about voter suppression and Q-Anon. These are compelling discussions with experts in these fields.

In particular, this week Ron explores how autocrats can hijack political parties through pluralistic ignorance as he speaks with Dr. Catherine Sanderson, Chair of Psychology at Amherst College and author of Why We Act: Turning Bystanders into Moral Rebels (see below).

You may be wondering how pluralistic ignorance relates to learned resilience. Pluralistic ignorance has its roots in learned helplessness. Be sure to check out my early posts in the blog for details about how learned resilience is the antithesis of learned helplessness.

Here's a link to the podcast on Spotify (also available on Apple Podcasts and TuneIn).

Dr. Catherine Sanderson on Becoming Moral Rebels
https://open.spotify.com/show/5UsvtFaTyCSCyb8O05L9VK?si=8APaaCfeQNGVQONKqY4i2A

To learn more about Ron's work, go to the Politicology website at https://politicology.com/ or Twitter @RonSteslow. Ron is launching this endeavor now. If you love what you're hearing, pitch in by donating to support future broadcasts about compelling issues that make a difference in defending our democracy. We're learning to be a resilient democracy and there's no time to waste!

If you ever  wondered whether resilience is inherent in one's character or learned, Captain "Sully" Sullenberger is the embodiment of both. Listen to Chuck Rosenberg's podcast interview with "Sully" as he describes all the factors that led up to his safe landing of US Airways Flight #1549 on January 15, 2009.

It is apparent from Sully's description of his upbringing, education, and experience he is continually learning to improve himself as a professional and human being. The view from his aircraft is awing. You may think Sully's story is the making of legends, but perhaps it isn't relatable to you because you rarely encounter problems like the magnitude of potential plane crash in your daily life. Listen carefully. Sully's lessons about resilience are vital for all of us.

In the podcast, The Oath, Chuck explores how "Sully's" past predicted his future. There are two lessons about resilience. At one level, resilience is part of one's character, developed in childhood at home, school, and in one's community. Sociological factors such as one's family, culture, religion, and civic participation contribute to the formation of character.  This is evident in the way Sully speaks about how his values were formed as a youth and informed him as an adult.

At a second level, resilience is learned through years of experience and exposure to challenges in one's life. This seasoning builds the mental models Captain Sullenberger described calling upon in moments of crises. As he points out, the decisions he made during flight #1549 may have seemed intuitive but they were based on decades of cumulative learning through several adversities. Captain Sullenberger reminds us there really are no "overnight stars." As Chuck's guests regularly say, it takes years of preparation and practice, through many challenges, to be an expert or a hero.  Captain Sullenberger demonstrates the potency of inherent resilience in character and learned resilience in practice. His motto could be "in Omnia Paratus"!

Learned resilience is important because some individuals have been shielded from managing crises and the consequences of their decisions. They lack the tools to be resilient, rendering them incapable of confidently facing their dilemmas to achieve desired outcomes. The gap may be due to well-intentioned yet misguided parenting. It may also be attributed to a socio-economic position which has enabled them to escape the fallout of their choices. In psychology, this phenomenon is known as learned helplessness. They exhibit a behavioral fragility to adversity  when their reactions is flight  instead of facing an adversity. These individuals didn't develop competencies of resilience as children and young adults, thus setting them up for heartache and failure in adulthood. To avert these painful results, it's imperative to learn resilience through programmed experiential learning, like simulations, practice, and coaching.

What does this mean to you in daily life? It means the small, everyday things we do make our character. It means our approach to today's challenges makes or breaks our ability to face tomorrow's adversity and change. Mindfulness that focuses us on being our best selves builds character. Approaching everyday problems with a sense of curiosity and openness to learning enables us to accumulate a mental library of lessons to apply when life presents us adversity. The case of inherent and learned resilience lived by Captain Sullenberger reminds us to use these two lessons full throttle.

This is an excerpt from the August 2020 Learned Resilience Newsletter. To get the tools, download the newsletter from the Newsletters tab.

In August we focus on four aspects of developing agility, which are relevant now - anticipation, apprehension, appreciation, and adaptation. We look at them as an evolution of thinking and feeling toward a workable strategy for you.



           AUGUST’S HAIKU

          Appreciation,
          Aware of each unfolding –
          Moments become fine


                 ∞ Stephanie Mohan, September 2015




Reflection on Appreciation
Appreciation is so often associated with gratitude that we sometimes overlook its meaning in inquiry and learning. This haiku reminds us of that nuance. We are in a constant state of flux right now with the pandemic, economic stress, and political chaos. This haiku reminds us not only of the importance of being grateful for aspects of life we may have taken for granted  in our busy lives, but also of the choice we can make to appreciate the unfolding occurring during uncertainty. Inquiring into our experience reveals the future to us instead of us imposing expectations through our attempts to control the outcome. It is an inversion of our propensity to command our lives.

Appreciation is a type of attention, a sometimes uncomfortable to focus on our human experience. Most humans prefer the knowns of our comfort zones. Appreciation is a competency for resilience when we forego our need for certainty. It asks us to allow flow rather than direct flow. If you have family, colleagues, and friends depending upon you, multiple time pressures compound your need for timely and effective decisions.  Appreciation seems to fly in the face of convenience. It can seem like an antithesis of agility; however, appreciation is an attitude not a time delay. It is a considered approach to decision-making, which illuminates and facilitates the process.

Allow for appreciation despite daily pressures. Remember, we make decisions in moments in time. We intend to make the best decisions we can when we have gathered all the salient information and compared the facts to the needs at hand. Conditions will inevitably change in different moments. We can also change our minds and make different decisions. It is reasonable to change our minds when given new information in the light of current unpredictability, especially considering our priorities and those of our loved ones. In this regard, no apologies are necessary.

Appreciation allows us to adapt our plans and learn from change, as well as be grateful for the blessings we have in our lives. August’s Resilience Practice will illustrate an Agility Cycle you can make work every day at home and work.

The Hero Archetype – The “hero” is an archetype that plays a powerful role in our lives both real and imagined. We are attracted to the hero for multiple reasons, but primarily the dynamic of good triumphing over evil dominates. Carl Jung (1875 -1961)pioneered psychological exploration using archetypes. In American culture, numerous movie plots focus on a hero’s journey. Scripts focus on development of the protagonist relative to an adversary. In daily life, our tendency is to look for everyday heroes, such as the perfect mate, boss, or politician – someone who will make our lives better, possibly save us from loneliness. We are disappointed when our perceived heroes are exposed as flawed humans (every archetype has its shadow). We also tend to disregard the hero within ourselves, which inhibits our own agency in life. Finding the hero within is a path toward empowerment. To start down this path, you might like to explore Carol Pearson’s book, The Hero Within – Six Archetypes We live By (2015) or one of Caroline Myss’ books and audio recordings,  like The Language of Archetypes (Sounds True, 2006). Pearson developed an assessment that you might like to consider to inform your journey. Use the embedded hyperlinks to access these resources. Don’t forget to journal your journey!

PART II
Foundations of a Daily Constitutional - Self-Compassion to Self-Care
 
For better or worse, most of us experience our minds as an elephant who sits on our shoulders – sometimes heavy when life is tough, sometimes weightless when life is grand. This elephant breathes down our necks, much less observes social distancing, no matter how much we try to push it out of the way. The elephant represents that inescapable voice in your head, which critiques your every move. How quickly does your mind jump to negative self-talk when confronted with events beyond your control? For most of us, it is likely all too often. Self-evaluation is a common habit in our hyper-drive culture.
 
To clarify, negative self-talk is not your conscience telling you to do the right thing or reflect constructively on your personal behavior in consideration of others.  The negative-self talk, like living in constant comparison to others, is toxic judgement and destructive self-criticism that has no productive purpose in your personal growth (see Resources – Carson and Helmstetter).
 
Consider envisioning your elephant operating like a mental feedback loop in your life. When your behavior produces desired results, you continue to do that behavior to continue to get the results you want, like a reinforcing or positive loop. The elephant feels relatively light; you hardly notice it is still sitting on your shoulders. When your behavior does not produce desired results, the elephant feels like dead weight. Its weight is a wake-up call to pay attention to its presence and it rarely goes away on its own. Try seeing the weighty feeling as a signal, a balancing loop - an opportunity for self-reflection and learning. Wisdom tells us that sometimes, the greatest gifts in life come in ugly wrapping paper. Negative self-talk blocks your ability to reframe challenges in constructive ways. It feeds your deepest fears and activates your defenses. Sometimes, it causes destructive behavior thus reducing your chances of attaining the outcomes you want. Reflective learning acts like a course correction and helps you constructively modify your behavior, putting you on a path toward achieving your aims.
 
How do you prevent slipping into the destructive cycle of negative self-talk? There are two, interrelated strategies – self-compassion and self-care. Both involve developing a sense of mindfulness about how you relate to yourself, others, and your world. Self-compassion (Neff, 2009, 2011) is being kind to yourself, as a friend would treat you when you seek their advice or the support you share with friends suffering through a tough time. Self-care (Denyes, Orem & Bekel, 2001) is the practice of activities individuals initiate and do on their own behalf to maintain life, health and wellbeing. It entails taking care of yourself – physically, mentally, and spiritually – understanding you are as worthy of care as anyone else. Putting on your oxygen mask before helping others in an emergency is an example of the principle of self-care. You help others best when you are primed to do so effectively - not depleted and inept. Self-compassion allows you self-care. Together, these two work best when you practice them regularly. To learn more about these strategies, check out the recommended reading selections. A mastery of self-compassion and self-care serve as a foundation for you running your life and not vice versa.
 
Routines for Purpose, Productivity, and Progress
Once you have a self-compassion and self-care in practice, you are ready to evaluate how you spend your time. Re-establishing new routines facilitates continuity and coherence when these practices truly reflect your life’s purpose as expressed in the time you spend that essentially reflects your values and priorities.  When you feel adrift, distractions make it hard to focus on what matters most. Start by taking stock of your current schedule and compare it with your priorities. Do they match or are they out of alignment? Dig into the details by documenting everything you do for a week. This comparison can be starkly revealing of priority gaps between what you think is important and how you spend your time.  Examine how you spend your hours. Compare your priorities and values with the amount of time you actually spend devoted to them.  For example, if you believe relationships are your top priority, then why are you spending more time at work than necessary? Are you at the center of your life? Or, is your work the center of your life? What do you need to do to shift more time toward what really means the most to you?
 
When we hear Harry Chapin’s Cat’s Cradle (1974), we rarely connect it with our own lives, yet it illustrates precisely the disjoint between values and actual time spent aligned with them. Are you spending your time aligned with your values and priorities? If not, then assess your life in terms of people, places, and activities occupying your time by asking – who and what boost or deplete your energy. Who supports you? What drives you? What entraps you? Self-evaluation is also self-confrontational – it takes fortitude to declutter your life of people and things that do not add meaning and value to you. Discomfort stemming from constructive self-reflection is not an excuse to pass on this opportunity for personal growth. You have just encountered your comfort zone – stretch! This is no time to stay stuck on autopilot in your relationships, your career, or your health, or your spirit.
 
While this pandemic necessitates physical distancing for health and safety reasons, experiencing restlessness, feeling unmoored, and psychic numbness compound a sense of isolation and powerlessness. Recognize your ability to act has not been paralyzed. When you get an anxious sense that you are drifting and aimless, it is time to assess your goals, priorities, and values relative to your life’s purpose or mission. Establishing new routines will help you feel a sense of structure and continuity as you reimagine your life. What does that look like?
 
Maybe it looks like honoring yourself - recognizing you deserve to keep your commitments to you! Fundamentally, it means nourishing your mind, body, and spirit with positive engagement, healthy food, daily exercise, sufficient sleep, and inspiration. You monitor the quality of the media you consume. You might read more, meditate, get your financial house in order, take an online course, or learn a new skill. You may schedule down time for your relationships with others or blocking time for yourself to reflect in a journal, explore art, start gardening, develop a craft, master a musical instrument, or virtually volunteer.  What brings you joy? Think creatively - try revisiting activities you loved during your childhood and adolescence to bring them back into your life or try exploring activities you have dreamed about doing.
 
Take some time to consider what works best for you in concert with the rhythm of your life – more or less structure. What keeps you engaged and motivated? When are you most energetic and least? Use your energy flow to reimagine your schedule. Leverage what has worked for you in the past and tailor it to your current reality. Strike a balance between productivity and play.  Once you are comfortable with your new routine, write it down and post it visibly to remind you of your commitment. Over time, your new habits will become constitutional anchors for your life going forward.

Like most of us, you may find this process challenging on your own. Professional coaches and mental health experts can guide you toward you running your life so it is not running you.

This pandemic is a major disruption in our lives. During disconcerting times, we have an opportunity to notice natural beauty as a tonic for stress that we often overlook in our busy lives. Momentary mindfulness of the beauty around us as we move through our days helps develop appreciation for the cycle of life as a continual process of revitalization. Use this opportunity to creatively destruct old routines and learn new ones that serve your future. For Part I of this article or more about Learned Resilience, see www.maryedson.com.
 
References:
Caspi, A. & Roberts, B. W. (1990). Personality continuity and change across the life course. In L. Pervin (ed.), Handbook of Personality: Theory and Research. Guilford Press. pp. 300--326.

Chapin, H. (1974). Cat’s Cradle. Verities and balderdash. New York: Elektra.

Hall, E. T., & Trager, G. L. (1953). The analysis of culture. Washington, DC: American Council of Learned Societies. Retrieved from https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/ED035325.pdf
 
Maslach, C., Jackson, S. E., Leiter, M. P., Schaufeli, W. B., & Schwab, R. L. (1986). Maslach burnout inventory (Vol. 21, pp. 3463-3464). Palo Alto, CA: Consulting psychologists press.
 
Neff, K. D. & Vonk, R. (2009). Self‐compassion versus global self‐esteem: Two different ways of relating to oneself. Journal of personality, 77(1), 23-50.
 
Denyes, M. J., Orem, D. E. & Bekel, G. (2001). Self-care: a foundational science. Nursing science quarterly, 14(1), 48-54.
 
Recommended reading:
Taming Your Gremlin, David Richard Carson (1984, 2009)
What to Say When you Talk to Yourself: Powerful New Techniques to Program Your Potential for Success, Shad Helmstetter (1986, 2017)
Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, Kristin Neff (2011)
Take Time for Your Life, Cheryl Richardson (1998)
The Art of Extreme Self-Care, Cheryl Richardson (2009)