One of the first responses to experiencing a traumatic event is searching for answers to so many questions. One of the most pervasive is, "Why did this event happen?" In the early days after the crash, I found that question useful from a limited, factual event level, but not very helpful in terms of healing and recovery.

Soon it became clear where I needed to focus my energies, what little there was of it. It was more important to keep moving forward so I could regain physical and mental functioning as an independent human being. As a researcher, I started looking for resources to support to staying positive mentally as well as physical therapy. It turns out the two are closely intertwined, which makes sense from a holistic and systems point of view.

It is really important to acknowledge that "staying positive" doesn't mean ignoring the realities of the trauma experienced. You can't step over the fact that you have experienced harm on multiple levels and every single one of them needs attention because you are a whole person greater than the sum of your parts. The reason you work as a human is all the parts work together in concert with one another. If one area is not working, it cascades through your entire being and carries into your life experience. Managing it all is necessary for a successful life despite the complexity and often confusion!

At first, I resisted the idea that I had experienced trauma. I just wanted to move on and heal. Soon it became clear moving on was not working. It was just denial of what had happened. I had to admit it before I could heal it. The crash was a traumatic event and my experience was trauma.

Thankfully, a friend recommended Bessel van der Kolk's book, The Body Keeps Score. Through Dr. van der Kolk, I learned about polyvagal theory and its role in post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Polyvagal theory helped explain my reaction and responses to the crash. Learning what it was and why I was reacting and responding the way I was helped me understand my state from a scientific point of view; however, my need was to know how to react and respond differently so I could heal, recovery, and, ideally, be more resilient in the future. So, my question was, "How can polyvagal theory help me get better?"

Of course, that "how" question required more research. I found Dr. van der Kolk's (2014) later studies revealed the "efficacy of yoga to increase affect tolerance and to decrease PTSD symptomatology" as well as the role Eye Movement Desensitization  and Reprocessing (EMDR) has in relieving its symptoms. Now that I knew what had happened, why I was reacting, and how to get better, my next question was, "Who can help me learn to use these approaches to heal and recover from the trauma?" Luckily, I found Dr. Arielle Schwartz, a licensed psychotherapist who has expertise in using both yoga and EMDR to address PTSD. 

In future posts, I will share more about this journey of recovery so stay tuned!

Greetings and happy new year, friends. It looks like 2025 has gotten off to an auspicious start and we will need to flex our muscles to expand our adaptive capacity and further build our resilience on every level. As you may have noticed this post is a year delayed. My last post was on 12/27/2023. Last year, 2024, was a journey of recovery for me and my family personally.

On 12/29/2023 I was hit by a Ford F-140 truck driven by a woman who lost control, crossed oncoming traffic, breached a median, careened through a drainage channel, and drove onto the sidewalk where my husband and I were walking our dogs. I was hospitalized and treated for eight broken bones and bruises over my body. Most of 2024 was spent recovering from the injuries and learning to walk again. Compounding my injuries were total breakdowns in the systems we expect to help and protect us as well as hold others accountable. Suffice it to say I am familiar with trauma on multiple levels.

Needless to say, this experience set me on a journey to find effective ways to heal physically, mentally, and spiritually, as well as legally and financially. While I won't focus on reliving the pain of the last year in upcoming posts, I will be sharing lessons learned in the hope my experience can help inform and ease others' pain as they experience their own journeys of recovery and resilience. If you have experienced trauma, I hope you will find some solace as well as resources to guide your own path. Let's begin...

End of Year Greetings to All!

2023 has been an eventful year with many beginnings and endings, as well as challenges. Some of the best intentions did not come to fruition, including this blog's developing theme of reflection and journaling. Please stay tuned in 2024 for updates and new developments. Until then, have the happiest of holidays!

We are two weeks into January. How is your new year going so far? Have the resolutions you made on the first already become points of contention about your commitment to change? If so, let's take a different approach and revisit the post on December 31st - making a commitment to you. Part of making that commitment was starting a journal. If you haven't already begun, this post may help you get started.


Journaling can take many forms and use different media. It can act as a witness to your life by recording a chronicle of your experience, a safe space to vent private thoughts, a platform for reflection and learning, and/or a sacred space for grace and gratitude. Consider these forms and others you may choose as you also make choices about the medium you will use to preserve your thoughts.

Before you choose a medium - paper and pen or digital - take a few moments to ponder how your commitment to yourself will be reflected in the way you memorialize your musings. You might take a moment to check in with your body and mind to ask what fits your life and sensibilities best. How will the medium you choose authentically reflect your commitment to reflection, learning, and change. It may be easy to disregard the sensory experience of writing in a journal, especially long-hand as your pen glides over paper. What will your journal look like, feel like, smell like, sound like?

If you love the smell of bookstores and libraries, a long-hand journal may suit you best. When you choose your journal, honor your senses with regard to size, color, paper type, lined or unlined, guided or free form. Let your inspiration guide your choice. This is not an instrument you want to skimp on and neither is your writing implement. They are the vehicles of truth and insight from which the thoughts emanating from your head and heart flow through your hand. Remember the bard's words:

O how much more doth beauty beauteous seem,
By that sweet ornament which truth doth give!
The rose looks fair, but fairer we it deem
For that sweet odour which doth in it live.

William Shakespeare, Sonnet 54

If you love coffee houses as well as the flexibility and convenience of technology, choose a platform or app that allows you to incorporate different types of media like pictures, diagrams, and mind-maps into your daily entries. Tech can instill a different kind of portable beauty enabling you to transform your thoughts into action through sharing when you think it appropriate and mutually beneficial.

This initial step, choosing your journal, comes to fruition when you make your first entry. You might consider possibly reflecting what your process of choosing the form and medium for your writing. Add to it your thoughts about the space (where you will write) and timing (when and how) of your writing practice. To solidify your commitment, put your writing practice on your calendar. By doing so, you consciously create the time and space, as well as give yourself permission to reflect and learn. By the end of this year, you will look back and see how it was time well spent.

See you in February when we will dig into prompts for the content of your journal. In the meantime, have fun creating your writing environment, whether physical or virtual.

Are you planning on performing the annual ritual of making new year's resolutions? Does the process remind you of past failures to follow through on your commitments? Does this ritual really work for you?

If you find the process of writing resolutions self-defeating, then I suggest you make only one commitment in the new year - prioritize your journey of growth through regular reflection on your life experiences. One of the most effective ways to learn from your reflections is through writing though your experiences in a daily journal.

In the coming year, we will explore effective ways to keep your daily journal. You will want to stay tuned for creative ideas to prompt self-reflection in ways to ensure successful change in your life.  So make your one resolution for this new year a commitment to your own path of learning by checking in here for ideas to map your journey. See you in January!

Participation through Action => Experience
Reflection on Experience => Learning

This is the essence of Chris Argyris' double-loop learning (see: https://infed.org/mobi/chris-argyris-theories-of-action-double-loop-learning-and-organizational-learning/). Argyris' learning principle is also at the core of participatory action research (see: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Participatory_action_research) .

So what does this mean to you in building your adaptive capacity and strengthening your resilience?

Let's reflect on recent years (since 2016) and the last three in particular. The world has been transformed by geopolitical upheavals and pandemic. At almost every level, the way we operate in our world has changed. For example, the way we interact with others has transitioned from predominantly in-person contact to virtual contact to such an extent that emerging from our pandemic cocoons required rethinking about how to conduct ourselves in shared spaces. Some of us have adapted well while others are still finding their legs. Some others have chosen to remain isolated while others demonstrate open hostility in the public square.  This reality necessitates increased preparation for all types of responses from those we encounter in public.

How does one prepare for these interactions that may elicit surprising reactions, unforeseen responses, and even potential for meaningful engagement? Some of the most powerful tools are:

• Approach interactions with curiosity, a sense of appreciative inquiry
• Consciousness of your role in shared space
• Consciousness of others in shared space
• Awareness of our own biases
• Consideration of others given the context of the shared space
• Understanding your boundaries
• Respecting others' boundaries
• Finding shared aims and values
• Appreciating different perspectives
• Looking for richness in diverse experiences
• Allowing for compassion for self and others
• Creating conditions for sharing without harsh judgment or reprisal
• Listening for shared joys as well as shared distress
• Using our voices to stand up for those who cannot
• Honoring our shared humanity
• Reflecting on the experience through journaling, meditation, or being in nature
• Using lessons learned to prepare for future interactions
• Appreciating the life cycle of shared experience with grace

Since 2016, the world has become exceedingly polarized and unbalanced. Absolutes have become seemingly easy approaches to the complexity we face. The key is to understand complexity, not reduce it to simple solutions. Complexity is neutral - neither good nor bad. Complexity is at times irascible; yet, it also lends richness to living. It is vital to life.

When you approach your daily interactions in shared spaces on the road, at work, in your community, in school, at the grocery, at the gas station, at the cafe, or anywhere in which you encounter others whom you don't know, LEAD WITH APPRECIATIVE INQUIRY about the other person and what you might learn from them. You might treat complicated engagements as participatory action research opportunities.  Remember, sometimes the greatest gifts come in ugly wrapping paper. This simple shift in your presence toward appreciative inquiry will take the pressure off you to prove something and opens you to learning something from those you meet. When you are learning, you are building your adaptive capacity at multiple levels (e.g., cognitive, relational, spiritual). When you learn to share space with others in positive ways, you have more opportunities to build community. When you have built a supportive community, you have strengthened your resilience as well as the resilience of those you share space.  That's the value of the double loop!

Greetings Resilient Ones!

It has been awhile since my last post. The 2020 election cycle has come and gone. Our nation is finally on a path of recovery. As individuals, we are hopeful the vaccine will help us combat the pandemic and the new economic plan will create more stability in our lives. You may ask, so why are we still focusing on learned resilience? The short answer is that the period of recovery from adversity is the richest period for learning from experience. This is a time for reflection about what went well, what didn't go well, and how we can improve our capacity for resilience. In the spirit of reflection and learning, If we move on too quickly, we may step over some critical lessons that will have long-term consequences. By reflecting on what we have just gone through, we can prepare ourselves for future challenges so we manage them from places of strength.

I have been spending the last four months searching for answers to a bunch of "why" questions. Like, why did we go through the roller coaster ride of the last four years with so much tragedy and so little accountability for those in power? Why weren't we better prepared and why didn't our safety rails work?  Why are we so polarized and unable to communicate? Why can't we be unified instead of divided? Why are people so willing to sweep our difficulties under the rug without learning from experience? Why are we repeating past errors? 

In my research, I have come across a thought-provoking podcast called Politicology created and moderated by Ron Steslow. Some of you may recall Ron as the insightful interviewer who led the Lincoln Project's many podcasts during 2020. In December, Ron launched Politicology to dive deeply into many of the topics that had to wait for further development until the urgency of the election was over. Now, he is taking on those topics. For example, Ron is developing a series about voter suppression and Q-Anon. These are compelling discussions with experts in these fields.

In particular, this week Ron explores how autocrats can hijack political parties through pluralistic ignorance as he speaks with Dr. Catherine Sanderson, Chair of Psychology at Amherst College and author of Why We Act: Turning Bystanders into Moral Rebels (see below).

You may be wondering how pluralistic ignorance relates to learned resilience. Pluralistic ignorance has its roots in learned helplessness. Be sure to check out my early posts in the blog for details about how learned resilience is the antithesis of learned helplessness.

Here's a link to the podcast on Spotify (also available on Apple Podcasts and TuneIn).

Dr. Catherine Sanderson on Becoming Moral Rebels
https://open.spotify.com/show/5UsvtFaTyCSCyb8O05L9VK?si=8APaaCfeQNGVQONKqY4i2A

To learn more about Ron's work, go to the Politicology website at https://politicology.com/ or Twitter @RonSteslow. Ron is launching this endeavor now. If you love what you're hearing, pitch in by donating to support future broadcasts about compelling issues that make a difference in defending our democracy. We're learning to be a resilient democracy and there's no time to waste!

If you ever  wondered whether resilience is inherent in one's character or learned, Captain "Sully" Sullenberger is the embodiment of both. Listen to Chuck Rosenberg's podcast interview with "Sully" as he describes all the factors that led up to his safe landing of US Airways Flight #1549 on January 15, 2009.

It is apparent from Sully's description of his upbringing, education, and experience he is continually learning to improve himself as a professional and human being. The view from his aircraft is awing. You may think Sully's story is the making of legends, but perhaps it isn't relatable to you because you rarely encounter problems like the magnitude of potential plane crash in your daily life. Listen carefully. Sully's lessons about resilience are vital for all of us.

In the podcast, The Oath, Chuck explores how "Sully's" past predicted his future. There are two lessons about resilience. At one level, resilience is part of one's character, developed in childhood at home, school, and in one's community. Sociological factors such as one's family, culture, religion, and civic participation contribute to the formation of character.  This is evident in the way Sully speaks about how his values were formed as a youth and informed him as an adult.

At a second level, resilience is learned through years of experience and exposure to challenges in one's life. This seasoning builds the mental models Captain Sullenberger described calling upon in moments of crises. As he points out, the decisions he made during flight #1549 may have seemed intuitive but they were based on decades of cumulative learning through several adversities. Captain Sullenberger reminds us there really are no "overnight stars." As Chuck's guests regularly say, it takes years of preparation and practice, through many challenges, to be an expert or a hero.  Captain Sullenberger demonstrates the potency of inherent resilience in character and learned resilience in practice. His motto could be "in Omnia Paratus"!

Learned resilience is important because some individuals have been shielded from managing crises and the consequences of their decisions. They lack the tools to be resilient, rendering them incapable of confidently facing their dilemmas to achieve desired outcomes. The gap may be due to well-intentioned yet misguided parenting. It may also be attributed to a socio-economic position which has enabled them to escape the fallout of their choices. In psychology, this phenomenon is known as learned helplessness. They exhibit a behavioral fragility to adversity  when their reactions is flight  instead of facing an adversity. These individuals didn't develop competencies of resilience as children and young adults, thus setting them up for heartache and failure in adulthood. To avert these painful results, it's imperative to learn resilience through programmed experiential learning, like simulations, practice, and coaching.

What does this mean to you in daily life? It means the small, everyday things we do make our character. It means our approach to today's challenges makes or breaks our ability to face tomorrow's adversity and change. Mindfulness that focuses us on being our best selves builds character. Approaching everyday problems with a sense of curiosity and openness to learning enables us to accumulate a mental library of lessons to apply when life presents us adversity. The case of inherent and learned resilience lived by Captain Sullenberger reminds us to use these two lessons full throttle.

This is an excerpt from the August 2020 Learned Resilience Newsletter. To get the tools, download the newsletter from the Newsletters tab.

In August we focus on four aspects of developing agility, which are relevant now - anticipation, apprehension, appreciation, and adaptation. We look at them as an evolution of thinking and feeling toward a workable strategy for you.



           AUGUST’S HAIKU

          Appreciation,
          Aware of each unfolding –
          Moments become fine


                 ∞ Stephanie Mohan, September 2015




Reflection on Appreciation
Appreciation is so often associated with gratitude that we sometimes overlook its meaning in inquiry and learning. This haiku reminds us of that nuance. We are in a constant state of flux right now with the pandemic, economic stress, and political chaos. This haiku reminds us not only of the importance of being grateful for aspects of life we may have taken for granted  in our busy lives, but also of the choice we can make to appreciate the unfolding occurring during uncertainty. Inquiring into our experience reveals the future to us instead of us imposing expectations through our attempts to control the outcome. It is an inversion of our propensity to command our lives.

Appreciation is a type of attention, a sometimes uncomfortable to focus on our human experience. Most humans prefer the knowns of our comfort zones. Appreciation is a competency for resilience when we forego our need for certainty. It asks us to allow flow rather than direct flow. If you have family, colleagues, and friends depending upon you, multiple time pressures compound your need for timely and effective decisions.  Appreciation seems to fly in the face of convenience. It can seem like an antithesis of agility; however, appreciation is an attitude not a time delay. It is a considered approach to decision-making, which illuminates and facilitates the process.

Allow for appreciation despite daily pressures. Remember, we make decisions in moments in time. We intend to make the best decisions we can when we have gathered all the salient information and compared the facts to the needs at hand. Conditions will inevitably change in different moments. We can also change our minds and make different decisions. It is reasonable to change our minds when given new information in the light of current unpredictability, especially considering our priorities and those of our loved ones. In this regard, no apologies are necessary.

Appreciation allows us to adapt our plans and learn from change, as well as be grateful for the blessings we have in our lives. August’s Resilience Practice will illustrate an Agility Cycle you can make work every day at home and work.