Sometime between college and 30 many adults begin to review their lives and ask, "Is that all there is?" The incredible pace of learning has slowed. Life's routines have become mundane. A rocketing career may be leveling off and not as engaging as it once was as unconscious competence sets in. What to do?

No doubt, reflection and review can be helpful. A career coach may be helpful to you in developing a sense of how far you have come and where you can go. Even so, a lingering question may remain. Even with a new career, new locations, new relationships, once you master these you will return to the same question, "Is there more?" Here is an approach to stay engaged life-long: Get curious and ask questions about everything that interests you. In other words: Develop a habit of life-long inquiry and learning.

As a professional coach, I have worked with recent college grads and early career professionals who are high performers yet disillusioned by their careers. They expected their brains to be fully engaged in problem solving and product/project development, which would give them a sense of fulfilling their potential - something they were told by adults when they were children along the lines of "You can be anything you want to be." For these clients, the day-to-day routine has become mind-numbing. They feel underemployed bordering on depression while pushing themselves to deliver high quality performance on the job. They dream of leaving their current employers to start new jobs, new careers, or new ventures. They may want to find new opportunities. Some feel trapped due to real life obligations. Even so, they acknowledge a reality and responsibility of making a living. So they continue to daydream about finding ways to fulfill their potential living with dissatisfaction setting up a vicious cycle of perturbation.

During coaching session, this sense of feeling trapped becomes evident quickly. There are a few approaches that can be taken. Generally, professional coaches will advise their clients to "keep their day jobs" while exploring new opportunities after hours, either as part-time ventures or hobbies. This is typically sound advice. Yet, there's another approach that doesn't get as much attention - developing a life of appreciative inquiry.

Appreciative inquiry (Cooperrider, 1995) can be viewed as a formal research method and an informal approach to investigating one's own life. It's a way toward self-determined change in individuals, groups, and organization. To learn more, check out:  en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Appreciative_inquiry

To leverage appreciative inquiry in your life, it helps to reframe one's thinking about life as a learning journey - that life is more about experiences and lessons learned along the way to develop wisdom rather that the destination itself. In other words, it's less about attaining the goal and more about what you learn along the way that lends value and meaning to life (Weick & Sutcliffe, 2009).

If you adopt this frame of thinking to your life, then appreciative inquiry is a helpful tool to begin understanding your life and your relationship to others and the world in constructive ways. In future posts, I will explain further how to use this approach to not only make sense of your life and engage fully in it, but also how to become comfortable with complexity and uncertainty, which are increasingly perplexing humans as they face increasing sociological alienation due to rapid technological advances resulting in isolation and pathology.  Today, it feels as if, one one hand, we're gulping life from a fire hose. That's all doing, doing, doing. On the other hand, we're wondering whether the numbing info overload is all there is. What's missing is human being, being, being. Let's explore how to make your life's journey a worthwhile adventure in terms of human experience that you value most.

With each new year, a lot of us resolve to live better. You know the drill - lose weight, eliminate bad habits, commit to new habits, and so on. This year, rather than create a list of resolutions that will dissolve by the end of January, why not commit to thinking differently about your life project this year?
Yes, that's what I wrote, your life project. Maybe it's time to rethink how we approach our lives, possibly seeing them as ongoing projects that continually grow and evolve. You are the project leader of your life, so your vision of what it will look like is essential. And, instead of anticipating potential "failures" in not meeting short-term expectations (usually unrealistic), begin viewing life as a project, which allows you to open your perceptual lens to see your life's endeavor as home construction that needs periodic renovation and renewal. Challenges become constructive "change orders" requiring creativity and innovation rather than obstacles to endure - a redesign here, an addition there, rebuilds occasionally. The key is how you manage your expectations of your life project.
How would your life project begin? Depending on your pref it may start by writing about or taking pictures of the people, places, and possibilities you would like to attract into your life. You could create a storyboard that includes all the things you love most and the objectives you are passionate about in your life. Many years ago, a well-known coach, Thomas Leonard (see http://www.coachville.com/connect/founder-thomas-leonard/), developed the idea of two types of lists - Absolute Yes and Absolute No. Go through this process yourself as you review several dimensions of your life - basic needs, relationships, career, wellness, community, spirit, and legacy. What will you say, "Absolutely 'yes'" to this year? These would be people and activities that imbue you with enthusiasm and drive. What will you say, "Absolutely 'no'" to this year? These would be the people and activities that are time wasters, energy drains and toxic interactions.  Include the Absolute Yeses on your storyboard. Keep your list of Absolute Nos in your daily journal to keep you focused during those moments ahead when you will inevitably be faced with demands upon your time. Once you have completed your storyboard, post it somewhere you will see it daily as a centering tool. Use it as a prompt for writing in your journal this year and for the next steps in your life project. Stay tuned for more details about what's next in your project plan!

Complex problems require disciplined approaches that are not only systematic (logical processes), but systemic (account for relational dynamics at multiple levels in context).  More to come...

Copyright © 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018 by Mary C. Edson, Ph.D.