One of the first responses to experiencing a traumatic event is searching for answers to so many questions. One of the most pervasive is, "Why did this event happen?" In the early days after the crash, I found that question useful from a limited, factual event level, but not very helpful in terms of healing and recovery.

Soon it became clear where I needed to focus my energies, what little there was of it. It was more important to keep moving forward so I could regain physical and mental functioning as an independent human being. As a researcher, I started looking for resources to support to staying positive mentally as well as physical therapy. It turns out the two are closely intertwined, which makes sense from a holistic and systems point of view.

It is really important to acknowledge that "staying positive" doesn't mean ignoring the realities of the trauma experienced. You can't step over the fact that you have experienced harm on multiple levels and every single one of them needs attention because you are a whole person greater than the sum of your parts. The reason you work as a human is all the parts work together in concert with one another. If one area is not working, it cascades through your entire being and carries into your life experience. Managing it all is necessary for a successful life despite the complexity and often confusion!

At first, I resisted the idea that I had experienced trauma. I just wanted to move on and heal. Soon it became clear moving on was not working. It was just denial of what had happened. I had to admit it before I could heal it. The crash was a traumatic event and my experience was trauma.

Thankfully, a friend recommended Bessel van der Kolk's book, The Body Keeps Score. Through Dr. van der Kolk, I learned about polyvagal theory and its role in post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Polyvagal theory helped explain my reaction and responses to the crash. Learning what it was and why I was reacting and responding the way I was helped me understand my state from a scientific point of view; however, my need was to know how to react and respond differently so I could heal, recovery, and, ideally, be more resilient in the future. So, my question was, "How can polyvagal theory help me get better?"

Of course, that "how" question required more research. I found Dr. van der Kolk's (2014) later studies revealed the "efficacy of yoga to increase affect tolerance and to decrease PTSD symptomatology" as well as the role Eye Movement Desensitization  and Reprocessing (EMDR) has in relieving its symptoms. Now that I knew what had happened, why I was reacting, and how to get better, my next question was, "Who can help me learn to use these approaches to heal and recover from the trauma?" Luckily, I found Dr. Arielle Schwartz, a licensed psychotherapist who has expertise in using both yoga and EMDR to address PTSD. 

In future posts, I will share more about this journey of recovery so stay tuned!

Greetings and happy new year, friends. It looks like 2025 has gotten off to an auspicious start and we will need to flex our muscles to expand our adaptive capacity and further build our resilience on every level. As you may have noticed this post is a year delayed. My last post was on 12/27/2023. Last year, 2024, was a journey of recovery for me and my family personally.

On 12/29/2023 I was hit by a Ford F-140 truck driven by a woman who lost control, crossed oncoming traffic, breached a median, careened through a drainage channel, and drove onto the sidewalk where my husband and I were walking our dogs. I was hospitalized and treated for eight broken bones and bruises over my body. Most of 2024 was spent recovering from the injuries and learning to walk again. Compounding my injuries were total breakdowns in the systems we expect to help and protect us as well as hold others accountable. Suffice it to say I am familiar with trauma on multiple levels.

Needless to say, this experience set me on a journey to find effective ways to heal physically, mentally, and spiritually, as well as legally and financially. While I won't focus on reliving the pain of the last year in upcoming posts, I will be sharing lessons learned in the hope my experience can help inform and ease others' pain as they experience their own journeys of recovery and resilience. If you have experienced trauma, I hope you will find some solace as well as resources to guide your own path. Let's begin...